Skip to main content

tomorrow! tomorrow!

Carmen's procedure is tomorrow....

So after doing an extensive ultrasound of her legs (to map the veins for the procedure etc.) and a CT scan of her head (to ensure that she doesn't have any lesions that could bleed out during the procedure) there was no time to actually do the procedure, so it has been pushed back to tomorrow morning. Which is actually better because the ICU's night staff is a lot smaller (more people=more attention on Carmen) and Carmen had this afternoon to relax after her sleepless night.

She was very tired and weak today, and because of it was feeling a little overly nervous about the risky procedure tomorrow. Her doctor assured her that the team was one of the best and that she had nothing to worry about, which made her feel a lot better. She also got some pain meds which made her feel a lot more comfortable and able to rest more, as she put it, "my body... is like nirvana." Carmen had a special visitor today! Anna stopped by her stomping grounds to see me and Carmen. It was really sweet, Carmen got emotional, but was so happy to see the young Dr. Sick. Carmen was tired of hospital food, so we got her some Panera, which she enjoyed. Tom and I left early so Carmen and Jose could get some rest.

Sweet dreams Carmencita, you have a big day tomorrow, but everything will be just fine!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

to 2011 and my butterfly of the universe

2011 was a roller coaster of year with amazing highs and depressing lows. It all began with my four month adventure around the world with one of my best friends followed by a month long vacation with my boyfriend. This adventure had been almost a year in the making, and after quitting my job in January I was off to experience the world. During my travels however,  unbeknownst  to me for the most part, my mom was fighting her battle against cancer for fourth time since she had originally been diagnosed six years ago. Looking back at those months now after my mother's passing, I of course wish I had been able to be there with her, helping her with her fight. It's hard not to think that maybe if I had been there with her, things would have gone differently. I know that if I had decided to stay and not go on my travels, Carmen would have been upset and disappointed in me for passing up such an amazing once in a lifetime experience, especially since...
Today we are gathered to recognize the life of caring woman. To many, she was Dr. Carmen Mateo or just Carmen, and to a few of us she was Carmencita (Mari Carmen to her sister who just arrived from Spain), or mom to my brother Daniel and I. She was and still is an inspiration to us all, with her kindness, grace and strength. She was selfless always putting everyone first, whether it was a stranger, a patient, or her family.   As she would say, lo mas feito para mi. Carmen was full of love for the world, always wanting to take care of everyone. She touched the lives of all the patients she encountered while at NIH and in her everyday life. She was the type of person that you would meet once, and after a lengthy conversation, oh how my mother could talk, would make you feel like you were special. She is unforgettable; her inner beauty always radiating through her twinkling eyes and quirky smile. She had this aura of energy surrounding her that captiva...

2 months later

It has been about 2 months since I last saw my mother. All things considered, I am doing fine, however there are times that the sadness of my loss floods my heart through teardrops streaming from my eyes. The pain is still very real, the loss still surreal. I sometimes forget that she is actually gone, that she isn't back home with my dad and brother, that her spirit is actually somewhere watching over us. The memories, photos and notes can't replace her, they can't even come close to even capturing her essence. But still, I seek them for comfort for they are as close as I can get to her right now. She has visited me in a few of my dreams, in each one radiantly beautiful, the charming brightly spirited Carmen she always was. In my dreams she is healed as if her cancer had never existed. I like to think that it is actually her in my dreams, her soul coming to visit me letting me know that she is alright, that she is finally healed and blissfully happy, like she said she wo...