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When the going gets tough...

the tough get going!

Carmen was very tired today. Last night she decided to stop taking the cortisone, because she thought it was making her retain a lot of water, so today she was a bit meh. While on cortisone she had increased appetite and felt very upbeat and energetic, so once she got off it, she was very tired and felt a bit down. So today we took it easy.

Carmen and I drove to the farmers market at the Y, usually we would just walk up there, but it was extremely hot and Carmen was tired. We got some fresh veggies and fruits and headed back home. Carmen laid down to rest for a bit as we prepared another delicious salad- mixed greens, artichokes, radishes, onions, tomatoes and cucumbers with her Carmen-style "rice" (a mixture of brown rice, barley, quinoa cooked with cumin, cardamon, parsley and cloves).

We had a nice lunch together (we were all here except Jose who went into the office for a bit) and then sat in the living room watching this movie/documentary called babies as we looked through some of Carmen's things. She gave Daniel and I these beautiful letters she had written for us years ago--they were very sweet and emotional. She is trying to tie up lose ends, because she fears that things are going to be a little hectic, and wants to enjoy her time at home with her family all together.

As the day progressed, Carmen felt more and more tired, and was still retaining a lot of fluid. By night she was feeling worse and had a slight fever, so after enjoying a little bit of homemade gazpacho and a mini fish taco Jose took her to Suburban to try to figure out what was going on. We were all worried that the fluid retention and fever implied that something was going on with her liver/kidney functions.

It's days like these that make the path to her recovery seem so dismal. I know we must keep a positive attitude and hope for the best, but when Carmen is so weak and feeling to terrible it gets hard. She is doing her best to stay physically and mentally strong, and I know she is a warrior, but she still has cancer, a terrible debilitating aggressive disease. Though the uncertainty of this all makes it hard, she is still putting in her hard work everyday and with the support of all of her family and friends we will get through this. 

It was a hectic night at the hospital, eventually Carmen took some pain killers which allowed her to sleep for a little bit. The ER doctors suspected an infection due to the fever, so they ran some tests. Her white blood cell count was a bit on the high side but her liver/kidney enzymes were normal, so they contacted the doctor on call at Johns Hopkins oncology department.

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