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Carmencita eterna- huella resistente a paso del tiempo, porque vives en nosotros

Today was hard--living through the pain of good bye all over again. This time it was so much more real. When it first happened, it was all so sudden, all so surreal. She had been dead just over a day or so. All of my emotions then were suppressed by this layer of shock. Today, everything was all too real. Everything that happened had settled over time and her absence had become all too apparent. I walked into this familiar church, a church that I had know as a child from my summers in Spain--the last time I had been there was for my first communion. I was surrounded by my extended family, many strangers who had grown up with my mother, and our close Dutch friends, Rob and Dory, who had moved back to the Netherlands. As I sat there next to my dad, brother and mom's sister, I felt the reality of her death, her complete absence. It was a beautiful ceremony, my dad gave a very touching speech about their story. This time I could not push back the tears that came trickling out. Much like the first ceremony it was an drizzly day, which seemed strange since it had not rained in a very long time in Callosa. I interpreted as her, being there, sad to see us so sad.  At the end countless of unfamiliar and familiar faces came to share their sympathy with me as they left the church telling me little things about how they knew her or how sorry they were. It was nice to see how many people still remembered and cared for her--showing just how she has always been an unforgettable woman.

After the ceremony we went to the cemetery nestled in the hills of the tiny town where my parents grew up overlooking the farm fields. We went to take her remains home, so she could be with her mother, father, and brother. She had come back to her roots, she was home once again.

As painfully sad as this all was, it was nice. It was nice to see my family. It was nice to have some sort of closure on this funeral process. It was nice to know that she would rest amongst the hills and fields that she grew up in. It was nice to take her remains to her home to rest with her family.  It was nice to know that her spirit and memories still live on in the hearts and minds of every life she touched, even in a small town that she left years ago.


Volverás a nuestra huerta y a nuestra higuera,

y por los altos andamios de las flores
pajareará tu alma colmenera

Alegrando las  sombra de mis cejas........

Hasta que nos volvamos a encontrar

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