Nectar of Life

This mother's day marks the beginning of a completely new tradition. In years past, my family and I would get together and have brunch at Black Market Bistro or cook up a delicious Spanish late lunch. The years that I was abroad, I would call home wishing my Carmencita a happy mother's day, making sure that Jose and Daniel were treating her to an amazing mother's day. A few years ago we started the tradition of gardening the day away. Years ago when I was younger, my brother and I would wake up early and make her breakfast in bed-- a random assortment of foods carefully brought to her on a tray that she would happily eat, with our help of course. This year is different. The duality of time never ceases to amaze me, how it can simultaneously feel so long and so short. It has been 133 days since you left us. Those 133 days feel like so long ago, so long since I heard your voice, felt your touch, saw you. Sometimes it feels like you are slipping away, like I can't rem

2011 was a roller coaster of year with amazing highs and depressing lows. It all began with my four month adventure around the world with one of my best friends followed by a month long vacation with my boyfriend. This adventure had been almost a year in the making, and after quitting my job in January I was off to experience the world. During my travels however,  unbeknownst  to me for the most part, my mom was fighting her battle against cancer for fourth time since she had originally been diagnosed six years ago. Looking back at those months now after my mother's passing, I of course wish I had been able to be there with her, helping her with her fight. It's hard not to think that maybe if I had been there with her, things would have gone differently. I know that if I had decided to stay and not go on my travels, Carmen would have been upset and disappointed in me for passing up such an amazing once in a lifetime experience, especially since she had been the one who had a