Skip to main content

Giving thanks.

I remember us a year ago, sitting around our table after spending hours in the kitchen cooking up a feast. We sat there holding hands, giving thanks for a year of health and love.


This year was different. You weren't there with your bright smile and twinkling eyes to tell us through your thick Spanish accent what you were thankful for this year. Though you weren't there, I knew you were there looking over us, your family, being thankful for our health and love.  Of course we all missed you, I know you would have had a blast at Thanksgiving this year with Tom's family, but I still feel like you were there with us.

Though you aren't around to read this, I just wanted to let you know what I am thankful for. I am thankful for you, and all the years that I was able to spend with you. I am thankful that there is so much of you that I see in myself. I am thankful for everything you have taught me, and how you have shaped who I have and will become. I am thankful for your love and memories that help me so much when I am missing you. I am thankful for my wonderful Tom, who has been the best thing in my life since you, dad and Daniel. I am thankful for my Joselito, the rock of our family, for being so strong all these years and especially these past few months. I am thankful for my Dino, my brilliant brother who despite his occasional 'tudes is a really sweet generous guy (like you!). I am thankful for the new extension of our family, for being so welcoming, kind, and making us feel like we were at home. I am thankful for all of my amazing friends, who have been there for me through the great times, and those not so great. I am thankful that you taught me to never take these amazing people in my life for granted, and to always show them how much I love them.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Carmen Mateo

My mother was first diagnosed with retroperitoneal liposarcoma in October of 2005. I had come home to see her in the hospital—during the removal of a cyst on her breast the doctors accidentally punctured her lung. It was during her stay at the hospital that they completed an MRI of her core (to verify the lung’s status) and found a large mysterious mass—a tumor. Though frightened by this news she was thankful for the discovery. Weeks went by as my parents spoke with other doctors and centers trying to figure out what this tumor was and what to do. Eventually she was diagnosed—liposarcoma, a rare type of cancerous tumor that manifests itself as a mass of fat. The irony of it—my mother the skinniest petite woman in the world, had a fat tumor. Right before Thanksgiving she went   to Sloan Kettering to have surgery to remove the almost 8lb tumor. Being the strong woman that she is, she recovered quickly from the surgery and began her healing journey. It was years before

Nature's course

Tuesday August 9, 2011 Daniel, Tom and I spent most of the day cleaning the house up and waiting for Carmen's hospice gear to arrive. Late that night she came home in an ambulance from Hopkins. She was extremely tired, but still mentally there and able to talk though it was through quite whispers.  We set her up in the living room so that she could be in the midst of all the action downstairs. She had made the brave decision to enjoy the rest of her time here at home with her family. Though she was in pain, she was happy to finally be resting at home. Jose slept beside her on the sofa, attending to her throughout the night. I was surprised that her condition had deteriorated since we last saw her on Sunday night-- that night she had walked around, sat at upright at a table to have dinner, fed herself easily, willingly ate, and was a bit chatty, but not extremely chatty for Carmen standards. By Tuesday night, it seemed her ability to move was limited, and she was subdued by the pa

recovery day

Today Carmen spent most of the day laying in bed. She was still tired from yesterday and the procedure. Her fluid retention is slowly dissipating, but of course it takes time. She had put on almost 10 pounds of weight during this, so you can only imagine. Her liver and kidney enzymes are stable, which is good news as always. Her potassium levels were a bit high in the morning and a little less high in the afternoon, but still high enough to cause some concern preventing her from being released. Because she wanted to rest, we didn't stop by to see her today. Hopefully tomorrow we will know what is the deal with her potassium and maybe get released from the hospital. Fingers crossed!